My brothers keeper
Autism and sibling/s relationship is one of unconditional love. For many pairings where one sibling is autistic and the other neurotypical there exist this high level of oneness and understanding of the others strengths and weaknesses. In my case I had my daughter first before Mvelo, in the beginning the sister didn't understand why the brother will display certain types of behaviors and doesn't engage in a dialogue. Honesty and transparency with my daughter was what helped her understand. There would be times when things would not go well in the playground and the sister will get frustrated because the brother decided to run away instead of playing in the swing. My first way of explaining was to give her simple explanations to say Mvelo is running off and is extra hyper today because he ate too much sweets and is now having ADD. That was my first way of introducing labels, she did not know what ADD is, but she knew that eating too much sugar gives ADD. As she grew she soon realized that no matter how much sugar she eats, she doesn't get to be as hyper, adventures and break play ground rules like the brother. I soon realize that I needed to add more detail to my conversation with her. I then started explaining that Mvelo tends to learn and play differently because that how God made him. My conversations with her about the brother will be simply child like explanations, but I soon discovered that she was doing her own observations of how we as adult of the house engage with Mvelo. I tend to play teacher mode when am with my son, I am constantly practicing activities that will get him to give me more words. Some of the activities I learn from the sessions with speech therapies, occupational therapies and home works from the schools. I create an enabling environment through play, music and constantly asking questions. After constant repetition of this mode of play my daughter soon became a mini me and I would find her playing teacher with him. This type of interaction helped him come out more, and with each growth spurt and more play and repetition, language started coming out.
A sibling who has been exposed to autism tends to be the guide to the autistic brother/sister. Just like neurotypical siblings, the younger sibling will always copy what the big brother/sister is doing, in the journey of autism the autistic sibling will unlearn some autistic behavioral trait in the process. A sibling exposed to autism's tends to have more empathy for others challenged differently, but not to say they dont suffer their own little insecurities of getting less attention in comparison to the autistic sibling. Many parents who have an autistic child can attest to this, It is a little guilt that we live with and try as much as we can to bring balance through intentionally focusing on the other sibling, her interest and giving one on one time outside of the home environment. This is important as a coping and regrouping mechanism.
It has became apparent to us that the more tools in the form of knowledge we give to our daughter the more confident she becomes in explaining to their circle of playmate who the brother is and what he is not.
Autism and sibling/s relationship is one of unconditional love. For many pairings where one sibling is autistic and the other neurotypical there exist this high level of oneness and understanding of the others strengths and weaknesses. In my case I had my daughter first before Mvelo, in the beginning the sister didn't understand why the brother will display certain types of behaviors and doesn't engage in a dialogue. Honesty and transparency with my daughter was what helped her understand. There would be times when things would not go well in the playground and the sister will get frustrated because the brother decided to run away instead of playing in the swing. My first way of explaining was to give her simple explanations to say Mvelo is running off and is extra hyper today because he ate too much sweets and is now having ADD. That was my first way of introducing labels, she did not know what ADD is, but she knew that eating too much sugar gives ADD. As she grew she soon realized that no matter how much sugar she eats, she doesn't get to be as hyper, adventures and break play ground rules like the brother. I soon realize that I needed to add more detail to my conversation with her. I then started explaining that Mvelo tends to learn and play differently because that how God made him. My conversations with her about the brother will be simply child like explanations, but I soon discovered that she was doing her own observations of how we as adult of the house engage with Mvelo. I tend to play teacher mode when am with my son, I am constantly practicing activities that will get him to give me more words. Some of the activities I learn from the sessions with speech therapies, occupational therapies and home works from the schools. I create an enabling environment through play, music and constantly asking questions. After constant repetition of this mode of play my daughter soon became a mini me and I would find her playing teacher with him. This type of interaction helped him come out more, and with each growth spurt and more play and repetition, language started coming out.
A sibling who has been exposed to autism tends to be the guide to the autistic brother/sister. Just like neurotypical siblings, the younger sibling will always copy what the big brother/sister is doing, in the journey of autism the autistic sibling will unlearn some autistic behavioral trait in the process. A sibling exposed to autism's tends to have more empathy for others challenged differently, but not to say they dont suffer their own little insecurities of getting less attention in comparison to the autistic sibling. Many parents who have an autistic child can attest to this, It is a little guilt that we live with and try as much as we can to bring balance through intentionally focusing on the other sibling, her interest and giving one on one time outside of the home environment. This is important as a coping and regrouping mechanism.
It has became apparent to us that the more tools in the form of knowledge we give to our daughter the more confident she becomes in explaining to their circle of playmate who the brother is and what he is not.
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